All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. Anthony Robbins

Have you ever thought:

I just can’t do that

That’s just not for me

I lack the ability to

I’m just not good enough to

I just don’t deserve to be

I would love to ….. but I’m just not that kind of person

What is your limiting belief ?

How does it affect your attitude and your behavior?

Have your limiting beliefs become self fulfilling prophecies?

If you want to face and change your limiting beliefs, this is a very interesting NLP exercise:

Museum of Old Beliefs

1. Do you recognize that you have a limiting belief? How would you describe this belief? How does it influence your behavior? How has it served you at a certain time?

2. Can you see that this belief could actually be untrue? Do you have evidence that goes against this limiting belief? When was the first time you had this belief? Have you seen other people change? Do you believe you can change?

3. Maybe this old belief once served you, but now you no longer feel comfortable with it. You don’t have to get totally rid of your old belief, you can put it in into a Museum of Old Beliefs that you can visit when you want and have a look at it, but it will not be part of your life any more.

What is the size, shape, color, texture, location and the smell of your Museum? You can put your old belief in the Museum and leave it there

4. Now, what belief would serve you better at this point in your life? How would you describe this belief? How would you name it?

5. Do you sense that this new belief could be true? Are you open to believing something different from your old belief? Are you ready to embrace a new belief? Can you think of a time in the past when you were open to a new belief? How did you feel then? How do you feel about your new belief now?

6. What are your most dearly held beliefs? How would your life be if you held this new belief in the same way? Can you close your eyes and see, hear, feel, smell how and who you are embracing this new belief? What will you do now that you have this new belief?

If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance. George Bernard Shaw.

Contribution of Peter Strijdonk

Embracing change can be slightly more complex when dealing with a belief or behavior that keeps us stuck in the repetitive loop of wrong decision making and actions that provide more harm then good.

According to Prochaska (Changing for Good, Prochaska et al) there are 5 levels of change for overcoming bad habits and moving life positively forward:

Precontemplation – Not yet acknowledging that there is a problem behavior that needs to be changed

Contemplation – Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready or sure of wanting to make a change

Preparation/Determination – Getting ready to change

Action/Willpower – Changing behavior

Maintenance – Maintaining the behavior change and (sometimes)

Relapse – Returning to older behaviors and abandoning the new changes

Once you acknowledge that there is need for change, taking time to focus on Contemplation and Preparation stages is crucial for implementing the lasting positive change without falling into the Relapse stage. Below is a questionnaire to help you define how ready you are to change your behavior.

Answer the following questions in terms of a problem behavior. Rate each item as to its importance in deciding to take action. Rate each item as accurately as you can. Fill in the number that most closely reflects the importance of each item.

PROS AND CONS OF CHANGING

1 = Not important, 2 = Slightly important, 3 = Somewhat important,

4 = Quite important, 5 = Extremely important

1. Some people would think less of me if I change

2. I would be healthier if I change

3. Changing takes a lot of time

4. Some people would feel better about me if I change

5. I’m concerned I might fail if I try to change

6. Changing would make me feel better about myself

7. Changing takes a lot of effort and energy

8. I would function better if I change

9. I would have to give up some things I enjoy

10. I would be happier if I change

11. I get some benefits from my current behavior

12. Some people could be better off if I change

13. Some people benefit from my current behavior

14. I would worry less if I change

15. Some people would be uncomfortable if I change

16. Some people would be happier if I change

Add up your scores on the odd-numbered items; this is your current score on the pros of changing. Add up your scores on the even items; this is your current score on the cons.

For people in the precontemplation stage the mean score on the pros of changing is approximately 21. One standard deviation (S.D.) on this test is 7. If your average score is 21, then you will need to raise your pros by approximately 7 points in order to become adequately prepared for action.

If your pros score is below the mean of 21, you will need to apply the processes of change at each stage even more diligently before you progress to the action stage. If your sc ore is above the mean by less then 1 S.D., you will need to apply the processes of change but you will probably be prepared more quickly then many of your peers.

For people in the contemplation stage the mean score on the cons of changing is approximately 21. One standard deviation on this test is 8. If you have an average score of 21, then you will need to decrease your cons by approximately 4 points if you are to become adequately prepared for action.

If your cons score is above the mean of 21, you will need to apply the processes of change even more diligently before you progress. If your score is below the mean but less than 4 points, you will need to apply the processes but you will probably be prepared more quickly than most of your peers.

Only if you have scored both 1 S.D. or more above the mean on the pros (28 points) and .5 S.D. or more below the mean on the cons (17 points) are you ready for action.

“To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage” Ralph Waldo Emerson