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	<title>Small Steps Coaching Blog &#187; Emotions</title>
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	<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog</link>
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		<title>Emotions (Peace) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Acting</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/07/emotions-peace-thinking-acting/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/07/emotions-peace-thinking-acting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Aug 2010 08:26:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living in the moment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wuwei]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=360</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Peace -I am - I am whole, complete, total unto my Self. Everyone and everything is part of my Self. It is all perfect.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Emotion:</strong> Peace -I am &#8211; I am whole, complete, total unto my Self. Everyone and everything is part of my Self. It is all perfect.<br />
According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:</strong><br />
All is well;  Everything is unfolding as it should;  I am;  It&#8217;s just perfect;  We are one</p>
<p><strong>Acting</strong><br />
actionless; balanced; cenetered; composed; connection; flawless; imperturbable; in equilibrium; infinite; limitless; perfection; poised; quiet; self-possessed; serenity; spacious; stillness; tranquil; unlimited; whole; witnessing</p>
<p><strong>Remember the acronym AGFLAP-CAP</strong>:</p>
<p>Apathy/ Grief/ Fear/ Lust/ Anger/ Pride  -  Courageousness/ Acceptance/ Peace</p>
<p>and monitor how you shift on the scale of action. After the AGFLAP reactive cycle, CAP brings you to the proactive behavior. Often we  mix Apathy with Acceptance, Anger with Courageousness and Pride with  Peace.</p>
<p>How can you bring peace within? What are you strategies to remain at peace when others are in conflict (with self or others)? Do you know how to be actionless?</p>
<p>Wu Wei (<em>wúwéi</em>) is an important Daoist concept. It means knowing when to act, taking a natural action, and it can be compared with effortless doing &#8211; as trees grow or planets revolve around sun. This action does not have emotion or thought as a trigger, it is natural.</p>
<p><em>(Wikipedia quote): Wu</em> may be translated as <em>not have</em> or <em>without</em>; <em>Wei</em> may be translated as <em>do, act, serve as, govern or effort</em>. The literal meaning of Wu Wei is &#8220;without action&#8221; and is often included in the paradox <em><strong>wei wu wei</strong></em>: &#8220;action without action&#8221; or &#8220;effortless doing&#8221;. The practice of <em>wu wei</em> and the efficacy of <em>wei wu wei</em> are fundamental tenets in Chinese thought and have been mostly emphasized by the Taoist school. The aim of <em>wu wei</em> is to achieve a state of perfect equilibrium, or alignment with the Tao, and, as a result, obtain an irresistible form of &#8220;soft and invisible&#8221; power.</p>
<p>There is another less commonly referenced sense of <em>wu wei</em>;  &#8220;action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort&#8221;. In this  instance, Wu means &#8220;without&#8221; and Wei means &#8220;effort&#8221;. The concept of  &#8220;effortless action&#8221; is a part of Taoist Internal martial arts such as T&#8217;ai chi ch&#8217;uan, Baguazhang and Xing Yi.  It follows that Wu wei complies with the main feature and  distinguishing characteristic of Taoism, that of being natural. To apply  wu wei to any situation is to take natural action.</p>
<p><strong>&#8220;The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white. Neither need you do anything but be yourself.&#8221;Laozi</strong></p>
<p><strong><br />
</strong></p>
<p><strong><br />
</strong></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Emotions (Courageousness) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Acting</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/06/emotion-courageousness-thinking-acting/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/06/emotion-courageousness-thinking-acting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Aug 2010 05:54:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Positive thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Strengths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[courageousness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[navigating thoughts]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=345</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Remember the acronym AGFLAP-CAP:

Apathy/ Grief/ Fear/ Lust/ Anger/ Pride  -  Courageousness/ Acceptance/ Peace]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Emotion:</strong> Courageousness &#8211; The willingness to move out without fear or hesitation &#8211; to do &#8211; to correct &#8211; to change wherever needed. The willingness to let go &#8211; to move on.<br />
According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:</strong><br />
I can;  I can get it done;  I can listen;  I can respond appropirately;  I do what&#8217;s needed and it works;  I know we can;  I&#8217;ll do what it takes to make it work;  I&#8217;m willing;  I&#8217;m willing ot take risks;  It can be easy and effortess;  It is a s easy as it was hard;  It&#8217;s possible;  let&#8217;s work together;  We can do it;  We&#8217;ll find a way;  Yes!</p>
<p><strong>Acting</strong><br />
able; aboveboard; adaptive; adventurous; bold; brave; candid collaboration; commitment; compassionate; competent; cooperation; creative; daring; decisive; dedicated; dynamic; enjoyment; exploration; flexible; focused; forthright; gallant; generosity; giving; goodness; gratification; honesty; humorous; initiative; inquiry; insightful; integrity; inventive; motivated; partnering; perceptive; persevering; persistent; playful; pleasure; resourceful; risk-taking; robust; self-sufficient; sharp; solution focused; spontaneous; strong; supportive; tireless; unpretentious; valiant; vigorous</p>
<p><strong>Remember the acronym AGFLAP-CAP</strong>:</p>
<p>Apathy/ Grief/ Fear/ Lust/ Anger/ Pride  -  Courageousness/ Acceptance/ Peace</p>
<p>and monitor how you shift on the scale of action. After the AGFLAP and reactive cycle CAP brings you to the proactive behavior. Often we mix Apathy with Acceptance, Anger with Courageousness and Pride with Peace.</p>
<p>When were you courageous? What worked for you then? What lessons did you learn? How can that experience help you with what you are dealing right now?</p>
<p><strong><span>“Courage doesn&#8217;t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, &#8220;I will try again tomorrow.”</span> Mary Anne Radmacher</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><a href="http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Courage.jpeg"><img class="size-full wp-image-352 aligncenter" title="Courage" src="http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Courage.jpeg" alt="" width="358" height="450" /></a><br />
</strong></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotions (Pride) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Acting</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/05/emotions-pride-thinking-acting/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/05/emotions-pride-thinking-acting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2010 09:57:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pride]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pride]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=329</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Emotion: Pride – The wish to maintain the status quo. Unwilling to change or move – therefore, the wish to stop others from movement as they might pass us up. According to the law of cause and effect: Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect) Thinking: I’ll just reflect!;  How dare you!;  [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><!--StartFragment--><span style="font-family: Calibri,Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><strong>Emotion: </strong>Pride – The wish to maintain the status quo. Unwilling to change or move – therefore, the wish to stop others from movement as they might pass us up.</span></p>
<p>According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:<br />
</strong><br />
I’ll just reflect!;  How dare you!;  I knew that;  I know everything;  I know;  I won’t associate with “those kind” of people;  I’ll look like I’m agreeing and to it my way;  I’m better than all of them;  I’m better than you;  I’m in a better place than all of you;  I’m not like them;  I’m right;  I’m smarter than everyone else;  I’m the only one who can do it right;  I’m the only one who can get it done;  I’m the savior/hero;  I’m too busy with important matters to have time for you;  It’s your fault;  Maybe I’ll do it and maybe I won’t;  My way is the only way;  What do tehy know;  What’s wrong with you;  Who do they think they are?  Why is everyone so incompetent;  You don’t belong;  You need me to get it done;</p>
<p><strong>Acting<br />
</strong><br />
aloof; arrogant; bigoted; blaming others; boastful; bored; closed; complacent; conceited; detached; disrespectful; distant; dogmatic; egotistical; false humility; gloating; hypocritical; indifferent; know it all; narrow minded; never wrong; opinionated; patronizing; pompous; putting others down; remote; sabotage; sanctimonious; self-absorbed; self-centered; self-important; snobbish; spoiled; stoic; stubborn; stuck-up; talking against others; unforgiving; impenetrable; unreadable; unyielding; withdrawn; walk away;</p>
<p>STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE<br />
Stop: Ask yourself –  how do I feel right now? Use emotional     dictionary from previous  postings if you are not clear about your     emotional state. Feel the  feeling: where in your body do you feel  agitated, frustrated or vengeful? How  does that feel? If this   feeling was  a color what color would it be? Remain with the feeling and    watch it  transform.</p>
<p>Challenge: Are your  thoughts true? How can you know that what you    are thinking is absolutely  true? Who would you be if you didn’t think those thoughts?</p>
<p>How do you know you are better than all of them? Is it absolutely true that you are the only one in the world who can get things done? How do you know? Who would you  be if you didn’t   believe  this was  true?</p>
<p>Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?</p>
<p><strong>When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and    get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply    because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and      accept it.<br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it.</strong> Mark (Anup) Karlsson</p>
<p><strong>Remember:<br />
</strong><br />
Emotions reveal the thoughts and patterns that seek attention.</p>
<p>Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.</p>
<p>Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.</p>
<p>Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.</p>
<p><strong>“A  proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course,  as long as you’re looking down, you can’t see something that’s above  you.” C.S. Lewis</strong></p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotions (Anger) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Acting</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/05/emotions-anger-thinking-acting/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/05/emotions-anger-thinking-acting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2010 09:27:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buddha]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Anup Karlsson]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=327</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Anger - The desire to strike out, to hurt and stop the other one, but with hesitation. We might not strike out.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Emotion: </strong>Anger &#8211; The desire to strike out, to hurt and stop the other one, but with hesitation. We might not strike out.</p>
<p><span style="font-family: Calibri,Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><br />
According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:<br />
</strong><br />
Do it my way or else;  Don&#8217;t even think of it;  Don&#8217;t push me around;  Don&#8217;t tell me what to do!;  Drop dead!;  F&#8230; off!;  F.. you!;  Fat chance;  Get out of my way;  Get even;  I&#8217;ll get them;  I&#8217;ll kill you!   I&#8217;ll never give in;  I&#8217;m not doing anything;  If they don&#8217;t listen to me I&#8217;ll let them go down the tube;  Me do it your way, not on your life;  Not a chance;  Not on your life;  Now you&#8217;ll pay;  Out of my way;  Who do they think they are?;  You better do it my way, or else!</p>
<p><strong>Acting<br />
</strong><br />
abrasive; abrupt; abusive; aggressive; attacking; barbarous; belligerent; biting; blinded; bloodthirsty; brooding; brusque; brutal; callous; caustic; cold; crazed; cruel; curt; defiant; demanding; deranged; destructive; discourteous; disrespectful; exacting; ferocious; fierce; gruff; harsh; headstrong; heartless; instigating; intimidating; inflexible; invasive; malevolent; maniacal; merciless; nasty; obstinate; offensive; passive-aggressive; petulant; pigheaded; profane; provoking; punishing; pushy; ravaging; rebellious; resistant; rude; ruthless; sarcastic; savage; spiteful; strife; stubborn; talking about others; uncooperative; unyielding; vengeful; vicious;</p>
<p>STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE<br />
Stop: Ask yourself –  how do I feel right now? Use emotional    dictionary from previous  postings if you are not clear about your    emotional state. Feel the  feeling: where in your body do you feel agitated, frustrated or vengeful? How  does that feel? If this   feeling was  a color what color would it be? Remain with the feeling and   watch it  transform.</p>
<p>Challenge: Are your  thoughts true? How can you know that what you    are thinking is absolutely  true? Who would you be if you didn’t think  those thoughts?</p>
<p>How do you know your way is the right way? Is it absolutely true that getting even is the right thing to do? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t   believe  this was  true?</p>
<p>Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?</p>
<p><strong>When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and     get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply     because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and   accept it.<br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it.</strong> Mark (Anup) Karlsson</p>
<p><strong>Remember:<br />
</strong><br />
Emotions reveal the thoughts and patterns that seek attention.</p>
<p>Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.</p>
<p>Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.</p>
<p>Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.</p>
<p><strong>“Anger  will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in  the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment  are forgotten.” Buddha<br />
</strong><br />
<strong> </strong><br />
</span></p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotions (Lust) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Acting</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/04/emotions-lust-thinking-acting/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/04/emotions-lust-thinking-acting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Aug 2010 05:57:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lust]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=324</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Emotion: Lust &#8211; The desire for possession &#8211; Wanting. The hunger for money &#8211; things &#8211; people, but with hesitation. We may or may not reach out. There is an underlying sense that we cannot, should not have. According to the law of cause and effect: Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Emotion: </strong>Lust &#8211; The desire for possession &#8211; Wanting. The hunger for money &#8211; things &#8211; people, but with hesitation. We may or may not reach out. There is an underlying sense that we cannot, should not have.</p>
<p><span style="font-family: Calibri,Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><br />
According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:<br />
</strong><br />
I want&#8230; ;  Do it my way;  Don&#8217;t stop;  How can I get it?;  I can&#8217;t wait;  I have to&#8230;;  I like it this way;  I must do it my way;   I must have it;   I need you;  I need them;  I need&#8230;;  I want excitement;  I want it all;  I want it now!;  I want more;  I want to know;  I want to figure it out;  I want to understand;  I&#8217;m not satisfied;  I&#8217;m starving;  It feels so good;  Look at me;  Me, me, me;   My way is the only way;  There won&#8217;t be enough for me;  There isn&#8217;t enough</p>
<p><strong>Acting<br />
</strong><br />
addictive; attention seeking;  chaotic;  compulsive;  covert;  desperate;  devious;  devouring;  driven;  excessive;  exploitive;  extravagant;  fixated; frantic;  frenzied;  hoarding;  impatient;  inconsiderate;  indecent;  lascivious;  lavish;  lecherous;  lewd;  licentious;  manic;  manipulative;  miserly;  obsessive;  out-of-control;  over indulgent;  over-eating;  panting;  predatory;  pushy;  risque;  ruthless;  seductive;  self-centered;  selfish;  uncooperative;  unruly;  vulgar;  wild;  with abandon</p>
<p>STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE</p>
<p>Stop: Ask yourself –  how do I feel right now? Use emotional   dictionary from previous  postings if you are not clear about your   emotional state. Feel the  feeling: where in your body do you feel craving, desire or jealousy ? How  does that feel? If this   feeling was a color what color would it be? Remain with the feeling and   watch it transform.</p>
<p>Challenge: Are your  thoughts true? How can you know that what you   are thinking is absolutely  true? Who would you be if you didn’t think   those thoughts?</p>
<p>How do you know there isn&#8217;t enough? Is it absolutely true thatyour way is the only way ? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t  believe  this was  true?</p>
<p>Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?</p>
<p><strong>When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and    get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply    because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and   accept it.<br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it.</strong> Mark (Anup) Karlsson</p>
<p><strong>Remember:<br />
</strong><br />
Emotions reveal the thoughts and patterns that seek attention.</p>
<p>Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.</p>
<p>Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.</p>
<p>Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.</p>
<p><strong>“Society drives people crazy with lust and calls it advertising.” John Lahr</strong><br />
</span></p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotion (Fear) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Action</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/02/emotion-fear-thinking-action/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/02/emotion-fear-thinking-action/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2010 09:29:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[action]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=320</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and accept it.
Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it. Mark (Anup) Karlsson]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Emotion: </strong>Fear &#8211; The desire to strike out but not doing so because we think they will hit us harder. The desire to reach out but not doing it because we think we&#8217;ll get hurt.</p>
<p><span style="font-family: Calibri,Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><br />
According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:<br />
</strong><br />
Crisis after crisis;  Disaster&#8217;s looming and I’ve got to hide;  I can&#8217;t let them find me out;  I don&#8217;t want anything to change;  I have to get it right or they’ll kill me;  I have to get them before they get me;  I&#8217;m not OK;  I&#8217;m confused and don&#8217;t know what to do, so I can&#8217;t do anything;  I&#8217;m not enough;  I&#8217;m not safe;  I&#8217;m trapped, there is no way out;  It&#8217;s closing in around me;  It&#8217;s so confusing that I just can&#8217;t move;  It&#8217;s not safe;  It is safer to stay still and not take any chances;  They&#8217;re out to get me;  What if I fail?;  What if I get fired?;  What if I get into trouble?;  What if I make a mistake?;  What if they don&#8217;t like me?;  What if. . . ?;  What will they think?;  No use, why try;  No matter what I do, it doesn&#8217;t make a difference;  No way, forget about it;  No way out;  Tomorrow;  What&#8217;s the use;  Why bother . . .</p>
<p><strong>Acting<br />
</strong><br />
agitated; ambivalent;  apologetic;  chaotic;  confused;  cowering;  cringing;  defensive;  disorderly;  distraught;  distrustful;  disturbed;  embarrassed; evasive;  frenzied;  frozen;  hesitant;  hyper-active;  hyper-focused;  hyper-vigilant;  hysterical;  indecisive;  inhibited;  irrational;  lack of clarity;  meek;  mistrustful;  nervous;  no action;  not trusting;  overwhelmed;  panicky;  paralyzed;  paranoid;  procrastination;  quaking;  scared;  secretive;  self-sabotage;  shady;  sheepish;  shock;  shy;  superstitious;  timid;  traumatized;  treble;  tunnel vision; wishy-washy</p>
<p>STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE</p>
<p>Stop: Ask yourself –  how do I feel right now? Use emotional  dictionary from previous  postings if you are not clear about your  emotional state. Feel the  feeling: where in your body do you feel anxious, insecure, unsafe or vulnerable? How  does that feel? If this  feeling was a color what color would it be? Remain with the feeling and  watch it transform.</p>
<p>Challenge: Are your  thoughts true? How can you know that what you  are thinking is absolutely  true? Who would you be if you didn’t think  those thoughts?</p>
<p>How do you know that you are not OK? Is it absolutely true that  you are not safe? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t  believe this was  true?</p>
<p>Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?</p>
<p><strong>When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and   get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply   because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and   accept it.<br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it.</strong> Mark (Anup) Karlsson</p>
<p><strong>Remember:<br />
</strong><br />
Emotions reveal the thoughts and patterns that seek attention.</p>
<p>Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.</p>
<p>Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.</p>
<p>Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.</p>
<p><strong>“FEAR is an acronym in the English language for &#8220;False Evidence Appearing Real” Neale Donald Walsch</strong><br />
</span></p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotion (Grief) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Action</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/02/emotion-grief-thinking-action/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/08/02/emotion-grief-thinking-action/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Aug 2010 03:20:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tools for self-healing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=315</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ask yourself – how do I feel right now? Use emotional dictionary from previous postings if you are not clear about your emotional state. Feel the feeling: where in your body do you feel disappointed, heartbroken, helpless or sad? How does that feel? If this feeling was a color what color would it be? How does the feeling move in your body – does it start in your chest and move to your stomach? Where does it go next? Remain with the feeling and watch it transofrm.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><!--StartFragment--><span style="font-family: Calibri,Verdana,Helvetica,Arial;"><strong>Emotion: </strong>Grief &#8211; the desire for someone to help us because we can&#8217;t do anything but we think maybe someone else can &#8211; we cry out for that someone to do it.</p>
<p>According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect) (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:<br />
</strong><br />
Do it for me, I can&#8217;t do it myself; i can&#8217;t do anything about it; I can&#8217;t do it right; I&#8217;ll never get it right;  I&#8217;ll never recover;  I&#8217;m a victim;  I&#8217;m useless;  I&#8217;m worthless;  It&#8217;ll never work;  It&#8217;s a dead end;  It&#8217;s no use;  It&#8217;s too late;  It&#8217;s too hard;  Let it wait;  No matter what I do, it doesn&#8217;t make a difference;  No use, why try;  No way, forget about it;  No way out;  Tomorrow;  What&#8217;s the use;  Why bother</p>
<p><strong>Acting<br />
</strong><br />
acting helpless;  attention seeking;  complaining;  crying;  dramatizing;  flustered;  helping others at your own expense;  hysterical;  martyr;  melancholy;  moping;  morose;  needy;  neglecting self and others;  nostalgia: &#8220;the good old days&#8221;; putting;  seeking comfort;  self-conscious;  sobbing;  suffering;  wailing;  weeping</p>
<p>STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stop</span>: Ask yourself –  how do I feel right now? Use emotional dictionary from previous  postings if you are not clear about your emotional state. Feel the  feeling: where in your body do you feel disappointed, heartbroken, helpless or sad? How  does that feel? If this feeling was a color what color would it be? How  does the feeling move in your body – does it start in your chest and  move to your stomach? Where does it go next? Remain with the feeling and  watch it transform.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Challenge</span>: Are your  thoughts true? How can you know that what you are thinking is absolutely  true? Who would you be if you didn’t think those thoughts?</p>
<p>How do you know that it will never work? Is it absolutely true that you can&#8217;t do it right? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t believe this was  true?<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><br />
Choose</span>: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?</p>
<p><strong>When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and  get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply  because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and  accept it.<br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it.</strong> Mark (Anup) Karlsson</p>
<p><strong>Remember:<br />
</strong><br />
Emotions reveal the thoughts</p>
<p>Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.</p>
<p>Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.</p>
<p>Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.</p>
<p><strong>“To  spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price  of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness” Erich Fromm<br />
</strong><br />
<a href="http://www.smallstepsinchina.com/"></a></p>
<p></span></p>
<p><!--EndFragment--></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotion (Apathy) &#8211; Thinking &#8211; Action</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/07/30/emotion-apathy-thinking-action/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/07/30/emotion-apathy-thinking-action/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jul 2010 05:47:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Apathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apathy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=307</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Remember:
Emotions reveal the thoughts
Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.
Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.
Meditation, exercise and healthy food help to improve the quality of thinking. ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Emotion: </strong>Apathy &#8211; Desire is dead because it&#8217;s no use. We can&#8217;t do anything and no one else can help. We withdraw and play weak so we won&#8217;t get hurt.</p>
<p>According to the law of cause and effect:</p>
<p>Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect) (cause) = Action (effect)</p>
<p><strong>Thinking:</strong><br />
I can&#8217;t;  I can&#8217;t win;   I don&#8217;t care;   I don&#8217;t count;   I don&#8217;t know how;    I don&#8217;t matter;   I give up;   I&#8217;m doomed;   I&#8217;m useless;    I&#8217;m worthless;   It&#8217;ll never work;   It&#8217;s a dead end;   It&#8217;s no use;   It&#8217;s too late;   It&#8217;s too hard;   Let it wait;   No matter what I do, it doesn&#8217;t make a difference;  No use, why try;   No way, forget about it;   No way out;   Tomorrow;  What&#8217;s the use;   Why bother</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong>Acting</strong><br />
careless;  catatonic;   disassociated;   defeated;   forgetful;   giving up;   inattentive;   indecisive;   indifferent;   lazy;   listless;   negative;   passive;   spaced out;   stuck;   unfocused;   unresponsive;   withdrawn</p>
<p>STOP &#8211; CHALLENGE &#8211; CHOOSE</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stop:</span> Ask yourself &#8211; how do I feel right now? Use emotional dictionary from previous postings if you are not clear about your emotional state. Feel the feeling: where in your body do you feel tired, weak or helpless? How does that feel? If this feeling was a color what color would it be? How does the feeling move in your body &#8211; does it start in your stomach and move to your chest? Where does it go next? Remain with the feeling and watch it transform.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Challenge:</span> Are your thoughts true? How can you know that what you are thinking is absolutely true? Who would you be if you didn&#8217;t think those thoughts?</p>
<p>How do you know that you can&#8217;t? Is it absolutely true that you don&#8217;t count? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn&#8217;t believe this was true?</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Choose:</span> What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?</p>
<p><strong>When you are dealing with a negative emotion don&#8217;t try and get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and accept it.</strong><strong><br />
</strong><br />
<strong>Here&#8217;s a simple little saying to help you remember &#8211; When I love it, I move above it.</strong> Mark (Anup) Karlsson</p>
<p><strong>Remember:</strong><strong><br />
</strong><br />
Emotions reveal the thoughts</p>
<p>Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.</p>
<p>Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.</p>
<p>Meditation, exercise and healthy food help to improve the quality of thinking.</p>
<p><strong>“Some people confuse acceptance with apathy, but there&#8217;s all the difference  in the world. Apathy fails to distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible  burdens.” Arthur Gordon</strong></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotional Dictionary &#8211; Peace</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/07/29/emotional-dictionary-peace/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/07/29/emotional-dictionary-peace/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:26:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Peace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=304</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2 style="text-align: center;">Ageless</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Awareness</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Being</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Boundless</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Calm</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Centered</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Complete</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Eternal</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Free</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Fulfilled</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Glowing</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Light</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Oneness</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Perfection</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Pure</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Quiet</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Serenity</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Space</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Still</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Timeless</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Tranquility</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Unlimited</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">Whole</h2>
<p>HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?</p>
<p>FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.</p>
<p>ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS, IF YOU RESIST  THEM THEY’LL LAST EVEN LONGER AND CREATE MORE STRESS</p>
<p>FEEL THE FEELINGS AND WATCH THEM TRANSFORM.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Emotional Dictionary &#8211; Acceptance</title>
		<link>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/07/29/emotional-dictionary-acceptance/</link>
		<comments>http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/2010/07/29/emotional-dictionary-acceptance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:20:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dalida Turkovic</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acceptance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindfulness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://small-steps-coaching.com/blog/?p=298</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ff6600;">Abundance   appreciative  BALANCE  BEAUTIFUL</span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #ff0000;">belonging</span> childlike  <span style="color: #800080;">compassion  considerate</span> delight <span style="color: #33cccc;"> elated  embracing </span><span style="color: #339966;">EMPATHY  <span style="color: #ff00ff;">ENRICHED</span> EVERYTHING&#8217;S OKAY</span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993366;">FRIENDLY  FULLNESS  GENTLE</span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #00ff00;"><span style="color: #339966;">glowing</span> gracious  harmonious   harmony  intuitive <span style="color: #ffcc00;"> in tune</span></span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">JOYFUL  LOVING  MAGNANIMOUS   MELOW</h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #3366ff;">naturalness</span> nothing to change  <span style="color: #3366ff;">open</span> playful   <span style="color: #3366ff;">radiant</span> RECEPTIVE  <span style="color: #3366ff;">SECURE </span></h2>
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #339966;">soft</span> <span style="color: #99cc00;"> tender</span> <span style="color: #33cccc;">understanding </span> <span style="color: #993366;"> warm</span> <span style="color: #ff99cc;">well-being</span> <span style="color: #ff00ff;">WONDER</span></h2>
<p>HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?</p>
<p>FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.</p>
<p>ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS, IF YOU RESIST  THEM THEY’LL LAST EVEN LONGER AND CREATE MORE STRESS</p>
<p>FEEL THE FEELINGS AND WATCH THEM TRANSFORM.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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