Emotion: Grief – the desire for someone to help us because we can’t do anything but we think maybe someone else can – we cry out for that someone to do it.
According to the law of cause and effect:
Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect) (cause) = Action (effect)
Thinking:
Do it for me, I can’t do it myself; i can’t do anything about it; I can’t do it right; I’ll never get it right; I’ll never recover; I’m a victim; I’m useless; I’m worthless; It’ll never work; It’s a dead end; It’s no use; It’s too late; It’s too hard; Let it wait; No matter what I do, it doesn’t make a difference; No use, why try; No way, forget about it; No way out; Tomorrow; What’s the use; Why bother
Acting
acting helpless; attention seeking; complaining; crying; dramatizing; flustered; helping others at your own expense; hysterical; martyr; melancholy; moping; morose; needy; neglecting self and others; nostalgia: “the good old days”; putting; seeking comfort; self-conscious; sobbing; suffering; wailing; weeping
STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE
Stop: Ask yourself – how do I feel right now? Use emotional dictionary from previous postings if you are not clear about your emotional state. Feel the feeling: where in your body do you feel disappointed, heartbroken, helpless or sad? How does that feel? If this feeling was a color what color would it be? How does the feeling move in your body – does it start in your chest and move to your stomach? Where does it go next? Remain with the feeling and watch it transform.
Challenge: Are your thoughts true? How can you know that what you are thinking is absolutely true? Who would you be if you didn’t think those thoughts?
How do you know that it will never work? Is it absolutely true that you can’t do it right? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t believe this was true?
Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?
When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and accept it.
Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it. Mark (Anup) Karlsson
Remember:
Emotions reveal the thoughts
Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.
Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.
Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.
“To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness” Erich Fromm