Small Steps Coaching Blog » acceptance

Emotions (Lust) – Thinking – Acting

Dalida Turkovic — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 05:57:20 +0000

Emotion: Lust – The desire for possession – Wanting. The hunger for money – things – people, but with hesitation. We may or may not reach out. There is an underlying sense that we cannot, should not have.

According to the law of cause and effect:

Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)

Thinking:

I want… ; Do it my way; Don’t stop; How can I get it?; I can’t wait; I have to…; I like it this way; I must do it my way; I must have it; I need you; I need them; I need…; I want excitement; I want it all; I want it now!; I want more; I want to know; I want to figure it out; I want to understand; I’m not satisfied; I’m starving; It feels so good; Look at me; Me, me, me; My way is the only way; There won’t be enough for me; There isn’t enough

Acting

addictive; attention seeking; chaotic; compulsive; covert; desperate; devious; devouring; driven; excessive; exploitive; extravagant; fixated; frantic; frenzied; hoarding; impatient; inconsiderate; indecent; lascivious; lavish; lecherous; lewd; licentious; manic; manipulative; miserly; obsessive; out-of-control; over indulgent; over-eating; panting; predatory; pushy; risque; ruthless; seductive; self-centered; selfish; uncooperative; unruly; vulgar; wild; with abandon

STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE

Stop: Ask yourself – how do I feel right now? Use emotional dictionary from previous postings if you are not clear about your emotional state. Feel the feeling: where in your body do you feel craving, desire or jealousy ? How does that feel? If this feeling was a color what color would it be? Remain with the feeling and watch it transform.

Challenge: Are your thoughts true? How can you know that what you are thinking is absolutely true? Who would you be if you didn’t think those thoughts?

How do you know there isn’t enough? Is it absolutely true thatyour way is the only way ? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t believe this was true?

Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?

When you are dealing with a negative emotion don’t try and get rid of it, its a valid part of you that wants attention simply because there is an imbalance within, so you have to learn to love and accept it.

Here’s a simple little saying to help you remember – When I love it, I move above it. Mark (Anup) Karlsson

Remember:

Emotions reveal the thoughts and patterns that seek attention.

Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.

Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.

Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.

“Society drives people crazy with lust and calls it advertising.” John Lahr

Emotion (Fear) – Thinking – Action

Dalida Turkovic — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 09:29:23 +0000

Emotion: Fear – The desire to strike out but not doing so because we think they will hit us harder. The desire to reach out but not doing it because we think we’ll get hurt.

According to the law of cause and effect:

Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect)/ Emotion (cause) = Action (effect)

Thinking:

Crisis after crisis; Disaster’s looming and I’ve got to hide; I can’t let them find me out; I don’t want anything to change; I have to get it right or they’ll kill me; I have to get them before they get me; I’m not OK; I’m confused and don’t know what to do, so I can’t do anything; I’m not enough; I’m not safe; I’m trapped, there is no way out; It’s closing in around me; It’s so confusing that I just can’t move; It’s not safe; It is safer to stay still and not take any chances; They’re out to get me; What if I fail?; What if I get fired?; What if I get into trouble?; What if I make a mistake?; What if they don’t like me?; What if. . . ?; What will they think?; No use, why try; No matter what I do, it doesn’t make a difference; No way, forget about it; No way out; Tomorrow; What’s the use; Why bother . . .

Acting

agitated; ambivalent; apologetic; chaotic; confused; cowering; cringing; defensive; disorderly; distraught; distrustful; disturbed; embarrassed; evasive; frenzied; frozen; hesitant; hyper-active; hyper-focused; hyper-vigilant; hysterical; indecisive; inhibited; irrational; lack of clarity; meek; mistrustful; nervous; no action; not trusting; overwhelmed; panicky; paralyzed; paranoid; procrastination; quaking; scared; secretive; self-sabotage; shady; sheepish; shock; shy; superstitious; timid; traumatized; treble; tunnel vision; wishy-washy

STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE

Stop: Ask yourself – how do I feel right now? Use emotional dictionary from previous postings if you are not clear about your emotional state. Feel the feeling: where in your body do you feel anxious, insecure, unsafe or vulnerable? How does that feel? If this feeling was a color what color would it be? Remain with the feeling and watch it transform.

Challenge: Are your thoughts true? How can you know that what you are thinking is absolutely true? Who would you be if you didn’t think those thoughts?

How do you know that you are not OK? Is it absolutely true that you are not safe? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t believe this was true?

Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?

Remember:

Emotions reveal the thoughts and patterns that seek attention.

Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.

Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.

Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.

“FEAR is an acronym in the English language for “False Evidence Appearing Real” Neale Donald Walsch

Emotion (Grief) – Thinking – Action

Dalida Turkovic — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 03:20:01 +0000

Emotion: Grief – the desire for someone to help us because we can’t do anything but we think maybe someone else can – we cry out for that someone to do it.

According to the law of cause and effect:

Thought (cause) = Emotion (effect) (cause) = Action (effect)

Thinking:

Do it for me, I can’t do it myself; i can’t do anything about it; I can’t do it right; I’ll never get it right; I’ll never recover; I’m a victim; I’m useless; I’m worthless; It’ll never work; It’s a dead end; It’s no use; It’s too late; It’s too hard; Let it wait; No matter what I do, it doesn’t make a difference; No use, why try; No way, forget about it; No way out; Tomorrow; What’s the use; Why bother

Acting

acting helpless; attention seeking; complaining; crying; dramatizing; flustered; helping others at your own expense; hysterical; martyr; melancholy; moping; morose; needy; neglecting self and others; nostalgia: “the good old days”; putting; seeking comfort; self-conscious; sobbing; suffering; wailing; weeping

STOP – CHALLENGE – CHOOSE

Stop: Ask yourself – how do I feel right now? Use emotional dictionary from previous postings if you are not clear about your emotional state. Feel the feeling: where in your body do you feel disappointed, heartbroken, helpless or sad? How does that feel? If this feeling was a color what color would it be? How does the feeling move in your body – does it start in your chest and move to your stomach? Where does it go next? Remain with the feeling and watch it transform.

Challenge: Are your thoughts true? How can you know that what you are thinking is absolutely true? Who would you be if you didn’t think those thoughts?

How do you know that it will never work? Is it absolutely true that you can’t do it right? How do you know? Who would you be if you didn’t believe this was true?

Choose: What would you do if you loved yourself for who you are? How would that change the state you are in?

Remember:

Emotions reveal the thoughts

Thoughts are not reality. Thoughts do not define you. You can choose what you think.

Actions speak louder than words (thoughts). Calm your mind and your actions will be more fluid.

Meditation, exercise and healthy food improve the quality of thinking.

“To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness” Erich Fromm

Emotional Dictionary – Peace

Dalida Turkovic — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:26:31 +0000

Ageless

Awareness

Being

Boundless

Calm

Centered

Complete

Eternal

Free

Fulfilled

Glowing

Light

Oneness

Perfection

Pure

Quiet

Serenity

Space

Still

Timeless

Tranquility

Unlimited

Whole

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS, IF YOU RESIST THEM THEY’LL LAST EVEN LONGER AND CREATE MORE STRESS

FEEL THE FEELINGS AND WATCH THEM TRANSFORM.

Emotional Dictionary – Acceptance

Dalida Turkovic — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:20:13 +0000

Abundance appreciative BALANCE BEAUTIFUL

belonging childlike compassion considerate delight elated embracing EMPATHY ENRICHED EVERYTHING’S OKAY

FRIENDLY FULLNESS GENTLE

glowing gracious harmonious harmony intuitive in tune

JOYFUL LOVING MAGNANIMOUS MELOW

naturalness nothing to change open playful radiant RECEPTIVE SECURE

soft tender understanding warm well-being WONDER

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS, IF YOU RESIST THEM THEY’LL LAST EVEN LONGER AND CREATE MORE STRESS

FEEL THE FEELINGS AND WATCH THEM TRANSFORM.

Emotional Dictionary – Courageousness

Dalida Turkovic — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:11:27 +0000

adventurous ALERT alive assured aware CENTERED certain CHEERFULclarity COMPASSION COMPETENT CONFIDENT

CREATIVE daring decisive dynamic eager enthusiastic exhilaration exploration flexible FOCUSED GIVING HAPPY honorable

HUMOR I CAN independent initiative integrity invincible loving LUCID MOTIVATED non-resistant OPEN optimistic

perpective positive purposeful RECEPTIVE RESILIENT resourceful responsive secure self-suficient sharp spontaneous

strong SUPPORTIVE TIRELESS VIGOROUS VISIONARY willing zest

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS, IF YOU RESIST THEM THEY’LL LAST EVEN LONGER AND CREATE MORE STRESS

FEEL THE FEELINGS AND WATCH THEM TRANSFORM.

Emotional Dictionary – Pride

Dalida Turkovic — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:52:11 +0000

above reproach ALOOF arrogant bigoted

BOASTFUL bored CLEVER CLOSED COMPLACENT

conceited contemptuous cool CRITICAL DISDAIN DOGMATIC

FALSE HUMILITY false virtue gloating

haughty HOLIER THAN THOU

hypocritical icy

ISOLATED JUDGMENTAL

know-it-all

NARROW MINDED

never wrong opinionated overbearing

PATRONIZING PIOUS PREJUDICED

presumptuous righteous rigid

self absorbed

self satisfied selfish

SMUG SNOBBISH SPECIAL

SPOILED

stoic stubborn stuck-up

superior UNCOMPROMISING unfeeling UNFORGIVING

unyielding VAIN

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS, IF YOU RESIST THEM THEY’LL LAST EVEN LONGER AND CREATE MORE STRESS

FEEL THE FEELINGS AND WATCH THEM TRANSFORM.

Emotional Dictionary – Anger

Dalida Turkovic — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 07:39:41 +0000

abrasive

aggressive

annoyed

argumentative belligerent boiling

brooding

caustic

defiant

demanding

destructive disgust

explosive

fierce

frustrated

fuming

furious

harsh

hatred

hostility

impatience

indignant

irate

jealous

livid

mad

mean

merciless

murderous

outraged

petulant

pushy

rebellious

resentment resistant revolted

rude savage simmering

sizzling

smoldering

spiteful steely stern

stewing stubborn

sullen vengeful

vicious violent

volcanic wicked willful

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

FEELINGS ARE YOUR RESPONSE TO THE REALITY AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS, IF YOU RESIST THEM THEY’LL LAST EVEN LONGER AND CREATE MORE STRESS

FEEL THE FEELINGS AND WATCH THEM TRANSFORM.

Acceptance

Dalida Turkovic — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:45:46 +0000

Did you know that animals in the wild don’t suffer from stress while animals in captivity do (this includes domestic animals and our dear pets too!)?

There is also an interesting fact that animals know how to shake stress off after a trauma. Imagine two ducks fighting and right after the duel is finished they will shake profusely and ‘paddle’ away from each other. The lake doesn’t become too small for them, on contrary, they will behave as if nothing happened right after the event – the conflict remains in the past and it’s done with.

Unlike ducks… we, humans, often get stuck in the event where incident created strong emotional response. Attached to the scenario that is no longer happening we keep it alive internally, continuously feeding our psyche with the images, sounds, and emotional states related to the event. STOP!

You probably think: easier said than done! Just for the fun of it, when you get into an overwhelming emotional response when somebody has ‘stepped on your toes’, repeat a mantra to yourself: “I love you, I forgive you, I’m sorry” You stepped on somebody else’s toes? Mantra is: “I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry” . Observe your emotional reaction to the mantra.

We are delivering a talk about Somatic Experiencing at Kocoon spa lounge on 10th November, 7.30. Below are the details, call to register.

Room 301, 3/F, North Building, Nali Garden, No.81, Sanlitun North Street on the West side of the street,

Telephone: 010- 5208 6068